If Tomorrow I Died
by ChibiQuatre
Summary: kawaii IMHO. Trowa/Quatre, yaoi, blah blah. the poem is mine, so pleez leave it there? comments always welcome. ja!


If Tomorrow I Died  
By ChibiQuatre(6/13/00)  
  
  
Yet another GW disclaimer: well, do you all REALLY want me to write a disclaimer?! We all know that I don't own GW (though God KNOWS I wish I did!). The GW boyz r'nt mine, never were, never will b. They are owned by their respective creators; Sunrise, There...happy!!! ((oh, and any trouble translating the japanese, I'll b happy to help!))  
  
*NOTE: This IS a yaoi. I advise yaoi-haters to leave now. I don't appreciate flames and I'm warning you now: if you don't like yaoi, don't read this fic! Personally, I think 3x4 is kinda interesting. Well, this is only my 2nd yaoi ficcie and it's got an attempt at poetry. ^^* Oh, and it's from both Quatre's and Trowa's POVs. Pleez b nice 2 me minna-san!  
  
  


***  
  
What would you do if tomorrow I died?  
Turn around and loathe my being?  
Or cry until your sorrow subsides.  
Let your heart do all the seeing...  
  
***  


  
"Iie! This--can't happen!"  
  
But there was no other way...  
  
Quatre had to self-destruct his beloved Gundam. Sandrock had been sturdy and  
reliable in battle, but now the young Arabian would have to give him up.  
  
He was surrounded. The mission had gone horribly wrong. Trowa was nowhere  
to be seen; the two had been separated by the OZ soldiers during the fray. And  
OZ mobile suits had Quatre surrounded. Sandrock had been badly damaged  
and no longer possessed the two curved blades that aided its pilot in battle. He  
had also lost the power of propulsion and his defense was wearing thin. The  
mobile suits started ramming him with amazing speed from the right side,  
slamming the blond to the left. A small trickle of blood ran down his face and a  
sharp pain engulfed his side. The enemy was now preparing to tow Sandrock  
into their hangar, for further investigation and torture, Quatre supposed.  
  
A small pale hand reached toward the dark red button that would end it all. It  
paused, hesitant and frail, then slowly descended onto the switch as Quatre  
sighed and closed his eyes in resignated defeat.  
  
"I never thought this would happen Trowa. Gomen koi, and sayonara," he  
whispered sadly, knowing that his beloved partner would never hear his words,  
his last words; his index finger reached for its goal......  
  
Suddenly, there was a large thundering noise from just outside the cockpit.  
Quatre's eyes snapped open, shocked. What the...?!  
  
Glancing at his monitors, he noticed that more than half the surrounding mobile  
units had been blown away, destroyed in the heat of battle. Quatre listened  
carefully; hai, someone was cutting through the suits like hot knife through  
butter. A few nearby explosions blasted Sandrock from behind as the  
video-communications link was severed and the monitors filled with empty static.  
  
But the audio link was still up.   
  
"Quatre? Are you there??" a panicked voice called from the other side. Quatre  
smiled in relief, despite his pain.  
  
"Trowa! I'm here. Are you alright?" The monitors suddenly kicked in, showing the  
brown-haired pilot's face. Trowa had a large bruise forming on his right cheek.  
  
Trowa let out a little sigh. "Hai, little one. I'm fine." Then he caught sight of the  
blood on Quatre's face. "..."  
  
Quatre saw the brief flicker of worry in the green eyes and forced a laugh. It  
came out rough and ragged. "I'm--fine Trowa. Nothing that a good night's rest  
wouldn't fix." As if proving his point, Quatre smiled wider.  
  
There was disbelief in the face of the pilot of HeavyArms. "Ano, you don't look  
fine Quatre. All the same, I'm going to tow you back to base."  
  
Quatre nodded. The pain in his left arm was beginning to get unbearable.  
"Okay..." Quatre said tiredly, then sat back in the cockpit and drifted into a  
restless sleep as HeavyArms grasped the limp body of Sandrock and began the  
long journey back to the Winner estate.   
  


***  
  
What would I do if tomorrow you died?  
My heart would writhe and emotions combine:  
Anger, grief, fear, even pride  
As we join hands and our hearts unite.  
  
***  


  
Trowa leaned back in the cockpit, the tension slowly lifting out of his weary  
shoulders.  
  
He had been surrounded, just like Quatre. But somehow, his acrobatics and  
piloting skills got him out without much damage. The thrusters on the left would  
have to be checked over, but HeavyArms took far less damage than Sandrock.  
  
The desert Gundam had lost both of the blades that were essential for any  
offensive attacks. As Trowa arrived at his partner's aid, it seemed the left arm  
was immobilized and all thrusters were useless. He had flipped open the  
communications channels. The video links were out, but the audio worked  
perfectly. That's when Trowa heard it.   
  
"I never thought this would happen Trowa. Gomen koi, and sayonara." Quatre's  
deflated little voice floated through space towards Trowa. It was so quiet, it was  
never meant to be heard. He blinked in disbelief. Quatre was going to  
self-destruct?!  
  
Under such circumstances, Heero, or maybe even Duo, would sacrifice  
themselves and their Gundams. But not little Quatre!  
  
The pain-filled voice prompted Trowa to act quickly. He wouldn't let the blond  
come to any harm.  
  
Using the remainder of his ammunition, he blasted through the immense circle of  
OZ suits and sliced the rest away with his hidden blade. Glancing back on  
Quatre, he was glad to see he hadn't self-destructed...yet. But the Gundam  
wasn't moving at all. It seemed lifeless, a shell drifting in the fathomeless pit of  
black space.  
  
Trowa flipped on the monitors. The static finally cleared to reveal an injured and  
very exhausted Quatre. His worry was heightened by the sight of blood running  
quite rapidly down one side of Quatre's face. There was a large oozing cut on  
the left side of his forehead.  
  
Quatre's voice sounded as dead and lifeless as the Gundam Sandrock looked.  
Trowa wanted to comfort him and reassure the little one that he was in safe  
arms, but he knew that his priority was to get Quatre back to base; the heir  
needed to be checked over for other injuries. That intense look of pain on his  
face was obvious enough to have Trowa concerned. It was evident that  
something ghastly had happened after the two were separated by the OZ suits.  
  
The audio channel was still open, and Trowa discreetly heard uneffectively  
supressed wheezes and gasps of pain coming from Quatre before his slight  
breathing became regular and even. Sou ka, Quatre was asleep. A glance at the  
monitors confirmed Trowa's thought. K'so. OZ did this; I'll get them back...one  
day.  
  


***  
  
You open your eyes; I jump with a start,  
Holding your hand and confirmed:  
That 'In sickness and health, till death do us part,'  
Two hearts become one as affirmed.  
  
***   


  
Quatre was resting peacefully in his room.  
  
The doctor had left nearly an hour ago; the boy was still asleep.  
  
Duo had been worried when Trowa carried an unconscious Quatre into the  
mansion. The Maguanacs immediately surrounded their young master  
Quatre-sama, but Trowa persisted in getting Quatre to bed. "Gee, he must've  
had a tough time!" he exclaimed.  
  
No kidding. Dark bruises were finally beginning to show up on Quatre's milky  
white skin. It looked like he hadn't been wearing his safety harness, although  
Trowa knew that wasn't the case. The mobile suits had been cruel with their  
battery, continually ramming Sandrock even after it was too broken to move.  
  
Hai, he would pay OZ back one day. Heero had shown the slightest bit of  
interest, and even Wufei looked a little concerned for the young boy. But it was a  
fleeting look. It passed so quickly it might have never been there.  
  
After the doctor had examined the blond, he gave the verdict: Quatre had  
suffered 3 bruised ribs, broken his left arm, and received a minor concussion in  
addition to all those bruises that the safety harness had failed to prevent.  
Nevertheless, Quatre would be fine given a few days of rest. The painkillers  
would temporarily stop the sharp pain the boy was experiencing.  
  
Now, Quatre was still asleep...a side-effect of the painkillers.   
  
One by one, the others had come to Quatre's room. Just briefly. Doctors orders:  
Quatre needed rest and complete silence.  
  
Duo was the last one out before Trowa went to see Quatre. For once, Duo's  
happy self was shadowed by gloom and worry, and the American kept his mouth  
shut. As he passed the taller boy, he looked into his eyes. 'Keep careful watch  
over him,' his violet eyes seemed to say. 'You two deserve one another.'  
  
Trowa said nothing, but Duo knew he had understood. Trowa closed the  
bedroom door behind him and dragged a chair to Quatre's bedside.  
  
In the dying sunlight, Quatre looked just like an angel, save for the constant  
twitches of pain that flashed across his sleeping form. His platinum-blond hair  
was matted to his forehead with sweat. Trowa reached up and gently brushed  
them away to feel the feverish forehead. With his other hand, he took Quatre's  
frail one and squeezed softly.  
  
The waves of pain passed from Quatre's face as he struggled to wake up. When  
his eyes slowly opened, they were dulled by the medicine and paled with pain.   
  
"Trowa?" The voice came out hoarse and thin. Trowa responded with another  
squeeze.  
  
Quatre sighed. "Gomen for being such a bother," he said, remorse tinging his  
voice. Trowa looked down at him and smiled one of his rare smiles. "No trouble  
at all koi."  
  
Quatre turned his head towards Trowa. "And arigatou for saving me."   
  
"Always, little one. No one will hurt you again. Not while Trowa Barton is alive."  
  
Quatre's eyes drifted shut. Trowa thought he might be asleep, and would have  
left the boy to rest, but Quatre's rough breathing told him otherwise. Minutes  
later, Quatre opened his eyes again.  
  
"Ne, Trowa?" he asked.  
  
"Hai, little one."  
  
"What would you do if tomorrow I died?"  
  
Trowa looked down at Quatre in surprise. His heart shuddered to even think of  
the situation. He stroked the silky strands of hair, turned white with the sunset.  
"Iie Quatre, you mustn't think such thoughts."  
  
But Quatre wouldn't give up. "Trowa." Their eyes met. "I want to know."  
  
Trowa looked at their hands, still clasped firmly together. "I would follow."  
  
Quatre interrupted with a gasp, but Trowa continued. "There is no life without the  
one you love. If you were to die tomorrow, Quatre, I'd be right behind you. 'In  
sickness and in health, till death do us part.'" Tear-filled emerald eyes met  
glassy sapphire orbs. "Promise. Please don't leave me Quatre," Trowa said in a  
heartbroken tone.  
  
Tears leaked out of closed lids. "Trowa, I...I," Quatre choked on his words. His  
eyes welled up with joyful tears and his breathing became even more erratic. He  
closed his eyes, concealing his physical pain and replacing it with his internal  
delight.   
  
"Ai shiteru Trowa."  
  
Trowa looked down at his kawaii little angel. "Quatre, ai shiteru chibi ichi. Ai  
shiteru."  
  
And with that, Quatre Raberba Winner drifted off to a dream-filled sleep, fingers  
entwined and maintaining possession over his koi, Trowa Barton.  
  


***  
  
© Trowa and Quatre ©  
Forever...  
  
***  


  
  
~OWARI~  
  
  
well, how wuz it? enjoy? i think it's one of the mushiest and romantic fics i've ever written (specially towards the end), but i guess u wouldn't review if u didn't like! LOL! so pleez rate and review minna. comments and suggestions are welcome as well!! ^_^  
  
ChibiQuatre @ tigerlily6c@aol.com


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